This is harder than I thought

I knew happiness came with a price, but sheeesh. This is hard. I leave for Florida to visit family tomorrow morning, and I stay there till the 22nd. Then fly to Paris on the 27th. So, today was my last day to work as a nanny for a wonderful family. I started working for them in May of 2010. They started meaning more than just a job when I realized that these people have become my friends and my brothers.

I was fine all day long. The mom, Kelly, is out of town, so I didn't get to see her today. I will see her at church the day before I leave. The dad was out of town also, but he came home at 7. The boys and I had a great day, we went to Pierce's school to get his new class schedule, Paxton and I have a good conversation about his best times in middle school (hes going into 7th grade) and I told him about mine, we all went grocery shopping together, and then we watched my favorite movie, Sweeney Todd. Its totally rated R, and I'm a horrible nanny for letting a 12 year old and 14 year old watch it. But if they were to watch it, I wanted to be the one they watch it with. They ended up liking it but still wondering why my favorite movie is about killing people and turning them into pie...and singing about it.

Everything was fun and happy till I knew I had to leave. I didn't want to, but I know I have not packed for Florida yet. 5am is when I need to wake up tomorrow. So, Phil, the dad, walked with me to the door and gave me a hug. I told him that I will see them all the Sunday before I go. I do not remember at all what he said after that, but somehow tears started running down my face. It was real to me that I would no longer see them nearly every day from then on. I was so thankful of them. I just became an emotional girl right then. I know I will see them again, but It just hurt me that I wouldn't be their nanny anymore.


People ask me all the time "are you excited about going?!" and my answer is always "yeahhh" and I want to add "I guess" to the end. Right now, all I see is the negative. I wont see my family, my friends, my dog, I can't drive my car, I can't celebrate people's birthdays, I cant go country two-stepping, I can't go to the greek food festival, I can't eat chickfila, and I can't go swimming in september anymore. I can only think about the things I am going to miss. I keep having to remind myself that I don't know what I am missing in Paris. There has to be so many things I will love in Paris just like I love things in Texas. Maybe the same thing will happen when it's time to leave France. I guess I am looking forward to going, but right now, I'm kinda sad. I'm Thankful for Florida though already. It will be great for me to have a vacation where I can get my mind off of things and just enjoy my family. I am looking forward to that.